A Playlist of Memories
by Avery Fischer Price
Summary: Not your typical Ryosaku amnesiac story: each chapter is based around a song by Taylor Swift. Because sometimes, you have to fall out of love before you can trip headlong over a misplaced racquet, back into it again.
1. The Story of Us

**A/N: Hey everyone, this is just something I came up with on a whim today. I was listening to Taylor Swift's Story of Us, and **_**this **_**was what came to mind for some reason. Don't worry – it's not a tragedy, there's more to come. Each chapter will be based on one of Taylor Swift's songs and trace the relationship (in my wishful imagination) of Ryoma and Sakuno. Hope you like!**

Someday, my child will ask me, "Mommy, who was your first love?"

I'll smile, saying, "Your daddy, of course!"

And I expect you'll do the same for your kid

'Cause it's the right, responsible thing to do.

_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us _

_How we met and the sparks flew instantly_

_People would say, "They're the lucky ones"_

But in the back of my mind, through all the mushy baby food and family vacations and graduations and hugs and kisses, I will think: It's _you _darling.

They say first love never really dies, right?

_I used to know my place was a spot next to you _

_Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat _

_'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on_

_Miscommunications lead to fall out _

_So many things that I wish you knew _

_So many walls up I can't break through_

You were always above me, now that I look back, somewhere up on that high road to fame and glory and the stars. And me? I was just another face in the crowd, gazing up at the heavens in mindless wonder, just like everyone else.

_Now I'm standing alone_

_In a crowded room _

_And we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know_

_Is it killing you_

_Like it's killing me?_

_I don't know what to say _

_Since a twist of fate _

_When it all broke down _

_And the story of us_

_Looks a lot like a tragedy now._

_Next chapter_

You were always so careful about keeping our relationship under wraps, even the nosy senpai-tachis still don't know what happened between us. I wasn't allowed to talk to you like a "girlfriend" when anybody else was around. We never even went on a real date. Ever. Always, always, it was me giving and you taking. But apparently, everything I had was not enough.

Why did you do it? Was I that embarrassing to be with? Then why did you ask me out first? _Tell me why we ended._

_How'd we end up this way? _

_See me nervously pulling at my clothes _

_And trying to look busy _

_And you're doing your best to avoid me_

"Oh my god," one of my friends, Hana-chan, whispers loudly as we walk towards the stairs carrying a stack of books for Yamabuki-sensei, our English teacher. "It looks like Ryoma-sama actually got together again with Osakada. I can't believe it."

Oh, but I can.

_I'm starting to think one day _

_I'll tell the story of us_

_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here _

_But you held your pride like you should have held me _

Already, there's a crowd of students at the base of the stairwell, surrounding the pair as they act all lovey-dovey, holding hands and giggling loud enough to be heard over the dull roar of a packed high school hallway. I see some of Tomoka's "new" friends – the ones from the Ryoma-sama fan club – gaze at her in envy and admiration as she cups his face in her right hand and pulls him in closer for a kiss.

_I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how_

_I've never heard silence quite this loud_

_This is looking like a contest_

_Of who can act like they care less _

_But I liked it better when you were on my side _

By now, we're at the first step. Hana-chan is muttering something about changing girls faster than girls change clothes.

Their faces keep getting closer. Tomoka's breath is fogging up the reading glasses Ryoma recently got. Her face is reflected in his deep gold eyes. I know all of this, even though I can't see squat through the crowd, because I was _there. _In that _same spot._

"Oi, get a room!" someone behind me yells.

Ryoma's eyes flicker upwards, breaking contact with Tomoka's for the briefest second. And then he sees me.

My breath hitches in my chest, turning into a solid lump. Suddenly, the hallway has lengthened into a long tunnel, with my first love and my ex-best friend at the end. Nothing but them, that's all I see.

_The battle's in your hands now_

_But I would lay my armor down_

_If you'd say you'd rather love than fight _

Ryoma's lips quirk up into a crooked smile that seems to say, "Hey, pulled one over you, didn't I?" Then he turns back to Tomoka, and they smooch deeply. Mentally, I count the seconds: _1, 2, 3, 4…_

Finally, at ten, I look away. They break apart soon afterwards. Not that I see it – I just assume, because right then the whole world turns upside down beneath my feet. And I'm falling-falling-falling.

_So many things that I wish you knew_

_But the story of us might be ending soon_

It's such a long way down. Everything is a blur of floor tiles and fluttering uniforms and a blue sky so bright I want to cry. Vaguely, I hear someone call out my name. But that lone voice gets lost in the rush of wind as I'm sucked into a vortex of pure sensation.

_I loved you lots and lots Ryoma-kun._

Down.

_That was the time of my life._

Down.

_I hope you find happiness in a nice girl someday, I really do._

Down.

_So smile, okay?_

Down.

_Smile like I did with you._

Down.

_And don't worry about me – I'll find my own happiness too._

Down.

_If loving hurts too much, I can __**always**__ forget._

Down.

_I'll lock up these feelings and seal away the memories_

_ In a secret little box of my heart_

_ Where they won't ever bother me_

_ Or you again._

_ And maybe someday someone will open that box_

_ Read those unsent letters, and hear the unspoken words._

_ And maybe they will decide _

_ It's worth a lunch break, or a Friday night, to write down_

_ The sad stupid story of us._


	2. Haunted

_**A/N: So this chapter is based on the song Haunted, by TSwift, of course. It's really a shame I've never heard it on the radio – one of my friends at NJYS first introduced it to me. Haunted is actually a really dark, chaotic song, which I found interesting coming from the person who sings it. Anyways, check it out on Youtube, and I hope you like this new chapter of APOM! It's in Ryoma's POV, by the way.**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned PoT, I wouldn't be on **_**here, **_**ne? **___

My mind is on autopilot.

It's like a mental blackout. Everything is silent yet incredibly loud, the sounds running into each other until all I hear is a warped garble. As I lean unsteadily on the elevator railing, trying to pull the situation into clarity, someone grabs my arm. Looking to the left, I see it's Osakada. Her face is pale, her pupils are dilated, and she's shaking visibly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear oyaji telling me to comfort the girl in these times, but how can I when my own muscles have turned to ice?

_You and I walk a fragile line  
>I have known it all this time<br>but I never thought I'd live to see it break  
>It's getting dark and it's all too quiet<br>And I can't trust anything now  
>And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake<em>

I just can't think. Fragments of thoughts spin through my mind at a million miles per hour, too fast to grasp at. This cannot be happening. This just cannot be happening.

Her body falling, limbs flopping gracefully yet limply, like a broken rag doll's. Eyes half-lidded, as if she were already in a different world. One where I can't reach her, see her, rope her hopelessly by my side.

_Oh, I'm holding my breath  
>Won't lose you again<br>something's made your eyes go cold  
><em>

The elevator doors slide open with a soft _ding, _briefly blinding me with sterile white light. For a moment, I'm lost. Where am I? Why is the world all of a sudden so dark and unfamiliar and unstable? A wave of antiseptic stings the back of my nose, and the reason I'm here drops back down onto my back like a ton of sandbags.

Pushing Osakada off roughly, I tear out of the elevator and dash down the long, long hallway. Small plastic tags with room numbers flash by, I'm only looking for one. 1876, where are you where are you where are you?

At last, I skid to a halt. Placing a tentative hand on the doorknob, I pause for a moment. Should I go in? There are voices inside talking excitedly, so maybe it's okay. The thought makes my heart thump and swell painfully, and without a second thought I barge in.

"Ah, Echizen-kun!"

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>You're all I wanted<br>_

My eyes widen. Ryuzaki is sitting upright in a hospital bed, smiling brightly at me. Immediately, the heavy weight on my back disappears and is replaced by something far, far worse. What used to be sluggishness in my limbs has turned into a gaping hole, the edges slowly disintegrating and plunging into a black numbness, sucking me in. My legs give way under me, and only distantly do I hear the voices of senpai-tachis.

"Nya, Sakuno-chan, Ochibi must have been really worried about you! He fell down in relief that you're okay! Ah, young love!"

"Nooo…my data has been defeated! I predicted there would be a 95% chance that Echizen would have no reaction!"

"Saa, then perhaps he needs some of your energy-boosting tea, Inui."

Ryuzaki laughs nervously. "Please stop it, senpai-tachis. I'm flattered that Echizen-kun was worried about me, but you're really over exaggerating this."

…the hell? Since when have I been _Echizen-kun? _Heat flushes through my veins, causing an inexplicable frustration to explode inside my chest.

"Stupid Eiji-senpai," I mutter, getting up quickly. "I just got infected by Ryuzaki's klutziness. This hospital recirculates air, so it's probably a plague by now."

Okay, that was a pretty stupid answer.

Luckily, or not, Ryuzaki speaks up before my senpais can berate me or chuckle about "being young, being young."

"Besides, you know Echizen-kun and I aren't like that. He's dating Tomo-chan, after all! I'd never like him like _that_."

And just like that, the air in the room disappears.

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
>Can't turn back now, I'm haunted<em>

"Eh? Sakuno-chan, but but but but but…" Eiji-senpai sputters.

"He's your FIRST LOVE," Momo-senpai finishes, flapping his arms.

Ryuzaki looks beyond confused now. Her face is flushed, half with embarrassment, half with anger. Wait, anger?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Momoshiro-senpai," she says narrowing her eyes, "but I am definitely NOT in love with Echizen-kun. And I never have been. Please don't say things that will make Tomo-chan misunderstand."

_Stood there and watched you walk away  
>From everything we had<br>But I still mean every word I said to you  
>He would try to take away my pain<br>And he just might make me smile  
>But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead<em>

The pregnant silence that follows Ryuzaki's last statement is finally interrupted by a loud cough.

"What are you all doing in here at once? My granddaughter needs rest!" The old hag suddenly bursts through the door, grabs Eiji-senpai, Momo-senpai, and me by the collar, and drags us back into the hallway, yelling at the other regulars to do the same.

"Honestly, don't you know how to treat sick people?" she scowls, ignoring the sweatdrops of passerby. "I'm going to talk to Sakuno now, and I don't want to hear a PEEP from any of you, or you'll ALL be running 100 laps while drinking Inui's newest Penal-Tea at practice tomorrow!" She turns around and stomps back into Ryuzaki's room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

As soon as she's gone, there's a heavy hand on my shoulder. I'm spun around and find myself facing seven pairs of very serious, very _angry_ eyes.

"So Echizen, what's going on?"

_Oh, I'm holding my breath  
>Won't see you again<br>something keeps me holding on to nothing_

As if things couldn't get any worse, Osakada magically appears and throws herself onto my chest, sobbing hysterically and whimpering "Ryoma-sama!" over and over again. My senpai-tachis stares could fire a laser through a concrete wall by now. Sighing, I carefully extricate myself from Miss Loudmouth's chokehold and look down at the floor.

"I'm with Osakada…sorta."

But even as the words leave my mouth, I'm struck by how wrong everything feels. Her name comes out chunky and harsh, unlike the smooth flow of Ryuzaki's. She's really annoying right now too. Can't the girl just SHUT UP for once? All I want at this moment is a soft smile, a gentle but reassuring hand on my own, an easy silence…

_I want Ryuzaki._

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>You're all I wanted<br>Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
>Can't turn back now, I'm haunted<em>

It's funny in a sick way almost. I was so used to her presence; even if it wasn't next to mine. Before I could help it, her fumbling but sincere habits became a daily part of my life. A source of peace, an oasis. I'm addicted. To that simple "I just want to be with you, Ryoma-kun." To that feeling of not having anything expected of me, so every little thing is a delightful surprise.

It was her innocence, I think.

_I know, I know, I just know  
>You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.<em>

After what seems like an eternity, I manage to leave everyone behind in the hospital. In a blind daze, I get back into the elevator. When it hits the ground floor, I'm the first one out. Running through the brightly lit reception area, through the automatic glass doors that open with a whoosh.

It's raining outside.

Heavy cloud sheets the color of steel wool pour down buckets of water. I'm quickly soaked through to the bone, my hair plastered against my head, sneakers sopping wet. What's rainwater and what's cold tears, I don't know the difference.

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Something's gone terribly wrong  
>Won't finish what you started<em>

What is Ryuzaki doing now, I wonder? Is she with her grandma? With Osakada? Does she remember that she hasn't talked to me or Miss Loudmouth for three months now?

Has she already wandered away from my sphere of life?

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<br>Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
>Can't go back, I'm haunted<em>

For the second time today, I feel myself falling. A few hospital workers look at me in concern as I slide wide-eyed down the pillar I'm leaning against for support. But no one pays too much attention. Just another shell-shocked teenage boy, dealing with some typical teenage angst.

Just another kid who's realized something important, too little, too late.

Just someone who's lost. Completely, utterly, 6 games to love, lost.

Fucking karma.__

_Oh_

_You and I walk a fragile line  
>I have known it all this time<br>Never ever thought I'd see it break.  
>Never thought I'd see it...<em>


	3. Fifteen

**A/N: Haha, this is a bit of a fluffy chapter after all that angst, but I'm hoping you readers will find it sweet (or mildly palatable, or at least edible, or…okay, I'm just rambling now). **

**I know the last chapter was kind of confusing, so let me clear some things up: Sakuno DID NOT "forget" about Ryoma per se; she knows that he's a regular and that he's amazing at tennis. However, she **_**did **_**forget that she loves him, and basically everything she did to express that love. So her brain made up stuff to fill in the gaps, and Sakuno now thinks that she and Tomoka are still friends. Ryoma is "Tomo-chan's boyfriend" and just a classmate to our favorite braids girl.**

**Also, this chapter contains KiriSaku. It'll still end up being Ryosaku in the end though. **

**The song this time is Fifteen, in case you didn't know.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PoT. **

"I can't _believe _I'm going to be late!"

The wind whips my hair straight back as I dash up the long sidewalk that leads to Seishun High School. There's the faint smell of gasoline and Japanese breakfast cooking in the cool air, but right now's not the time to stop and smell the roses.

_You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors_

_It's the morning of your very first day_

Who would've guessed that on the day I'm finally scheduled to start high school again, my alarm clock's battery would die? And that obaa-chan had to leave early because of some inter-school tennis meeting, depriving me of a ride?

Somehow, I manage to make it to the school entrance just as the janitor's about to close the gates. He raises an eyebrow at my disheveled uniform, uncombed hair, and lack of breath, but lets me in.

"Arigatou," I gasp. Bending over to refill my lungs with oxygen, I silently thank Kami-sama for deserting the courtyard of any witnesses to my unfashionably late entrance. Then again, as I examine the confusing schedule and map clutched in my right hand, maybe that isn't such a good thing after all.

_And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while_

_Try and stay out of everybody's way_

"Oi, can you move? You're blocking the walkway." A shadow suddenly looms up behind me, and I turn around to see an irritated-looking, jockish boy glaring down at me. His skin is light, contrasting with the wavy mass of blue-black hair that falls in a heavy curtain over his turquoise eyes. A tennis bag is slung over one shoulder, the bee-stripe jacket of Rikkai Dai high school hanging from the other.

_It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here_

_For the next four years in this town_

_Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say_

_"You know, I haven't seen you around before"_

"Ah, g-gomenasai!" I squeak out, pressing both hands against the ribbon of my uniform. _Thump thump thump. _The invisible rabbit inside my chest is pounding against my ribcage furiously, trying to get out. Lowering my head to hide a blush, I take step backwards, accidentally trip over my shoes, and end up falling flat on my face. "Ow…" Wonderful. Now I'm definitely late, and I've managed to look like a klutz in front a rival school's tennis player. A very attractive, very familiar-looking-

"Geez, are you okay?"

The guy actually looks worried as he bends over me. Now that he's closer, I see that has _very _pretty eyes. They're a calming blue, with flecks of green. Wide and cheerful. As the boy mutters an apology and extends a hand to help me up, an inexplicably delightful shiver runs down my spine, filling me with warmth.

"By the way, do you know where the Seigaku athletic office is?" he asks after I've finished bowing and thanking him.

"D-doushite?"

_'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you_

_You're gonna believe them_

The boy rolls his eyes, and I mentally slap myself for stuttering. "Here, let me see that," he says, taking the map and my schedule from me. After a few seconds, he hands them back. "All right, I got it. Thanks a lot." He turns around and starts walking away. I stare after him helplessly, torn between asking for directions (because he sure seems to know his way around better than me), and not wanting to bother the boy further.

_And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out_

_Well, count to ten, take it in_

"Oi, hurry up!"

"Eh- eh?" My head snaps up, and I see the boy standing a few yards away with his arms folded. He rolls his eyes before saying, "Your next class is right next to the Athletic Office, isn't it? I'll take you there."

My mouth opens slightly and I gape like a beached fish. He actually bothered to notice my classes? And offering to, to…when it finally sinks in, I can't stop the big smile that stretches across my face. "Hai! Arigatou gozaimasu!"

The boy scowls to again, turning his head away. But I can see the tips of his ears turning pink, and once again that strange fluttery feeling explodes inside my chest. Getting up quickly, I chase after him and we settle into a quiet rhythm, me trotting a few paces behind him with my head ducked down.

_This is life before you know who you're gonna be_

_Fifteen_

I don't know his name. But somehow, deep down, I'm drawn to him.

It's an oddly familiar feeling.

_ Line Break _

"Hey, is that her? Ryuzaki-sensei's granddaughter?"

"I heard she just got released from the hospital three days ago."

"Oh yeah, she's the one who fell down that flight of stairs, right? Hell, she's lucky she didn't get amnesia or something!"

"You watch too many soap operas."

The whispers probe at my skin like tiny needles as I settle into my seat. Really, do I have a STARE AT ME WITH LARGE INQUISITIVE EYES sign taped to the back of my uniform? Squirming uncomfortably, I look around for a familiar face, and the anxiousness lightens considerably when I see that my desk partner is-

"Tomo-chan!"

_You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail_

_And soon enough you're best friends_

Her head snaps up and she looks at me quickly, almost guiltily. Odd. That pricking sensation returns, and in my peripheral vision, I see some members of the Ryoma-sama fan club throwing me dirty looks. After an awkward silence, Tomo-chan finally manages a weak smile.

"Hey Sakuno," she says. "Are you…um…feeling better?"

I grin and flex my arms to show that I'm perfectly fine. "Yeah, I'm feeling great. Don't worry. Where's the teacher? I thought for sure I was going to be late."

For some reason, Tomo-chan looks elated to be discussing this sort of everyday thing. "Ah yes, while you were out we got a substitute," she says. "Yamabuki-sensei got pregnant, so now the English teacher is Ayuzawa-sensei. She's pretty nice."

"Mou, but as long as it's English, I'll still do badly," I groan, covering my head. "And I missed three weeks of stuff too!"

"Well, that's one thing that didn't change, unfortunately." Before I can question the double meaning behind Tomo-chan's words, something sharp strikes the back of my neck, sending a thorn of pain to my forehead. A sharpened pencil clatters to the floor. At the same, the same girls who were giving me dirty glances before burst into laughter.

Tomo-chan's happy expression drops and she pulls me up. "Come on, Sakuno, let's go."

_Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool_

_We'll be outta here as soon as we can_

"Doushite? But class will start soon-"

"Don't worry about that, let's just go visit your Grandma!"

"B-but today's she's in a meeting-"

"Just come on!"

And before I can protest, before I can apologize to a very confused Ayuzawa-sensei who's just walked in, Tomo-chan drags me out of the classroom.

*****Line Break*****

"Ano, Tomo-chan, where are we going?" I gasp breathlessly as we finally stop in one of the outdoor hallways that link the different Seigaku buildings together. Man, I seem to be running a lot today.

Tomo-chan blinks. "Er, I don't really know?" she finally says, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

"Tomo-chan!"

"Gomen, Sakuno! I know it's your first day back, but I just couldn't stand those girls…" Tomo-chan gnashes her teeth together and glowers at the ground. "After everything, you… and they still…"

Sigh. Well, I'm lucky that Tomo-chan always means well. I pat her shoulder, trying to placate her, while searching for some sort of distraction. "Demo, it's no big deal. And look!" I say brightly, "There's the tennis courts. Obaa-chan might be here, she said something about the inter-school tennis meeting moving here for something."

At the word _tennis, _Tomo-chan immediately freezes up. "Ah, Sakuno," she stammers nervously, "Maybe we better go somewhere else-"

"Eh?" I frown. "But don't you want to see Echizen-kun? He's your boyfriend, right?"

"We-well…"

Right at that moment, something else catches my eye. Or rather, a pair of familiar turquoise eyes does. It's the boy from this morning, bounding towards the courts as he's flanked by regulars from many other schools.

_And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car_

_And you're feeling like flying_

_And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one_

_And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends_

_When the night ends_

"It's him!" I gasp. Perhaps a little more loudly than I intended, because his head whips to the side and all of a sudden I'm transfixed by his intense stare.

"Oh, you're that girl," he says surprisedly after a moment. "What're you doing here?"

"A-a-a-a-ano, well, stuff happened and…" My mouth has suddenly gone dry, all the blood rushing to my face. Involuntarily, a jolt of electricity runs up my spine, filling me with that strange, half-fearful, half-expectant feeling. A feeling that's lighter than helium surges to my head, lifting me up and up and up.

_'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you_

_You're gonna believe them_

"Who, Kirihara! You didn't tell us you had such a cute girlfriend!" A taller boy with spiky blue hair, also wearing the Rikkai Dai sports jacket, appears out of nowhere and throws an arm around the boy with turquoise eyes. He chuckles. "Man, and here I was starting to think you'd hit a rut in puberty or something!"

_When you're fifteen and your first kiss_

_Makes your head spin 'round_

"Shut up Niou-senpai!" Kirihara yells, smacking his teammate while going a brilliant shade of sunset pink. "I just met her this morning and helped her find her class!"

"Aw, how _romantic_! You're such an adorable tsundere, Kiri-kun!" the blue-haired player squeals, upon which he is promptly bashed over the head with a tennis racquet.

Several things happen after that.

One, I run forward instinctively, seeing that someone's injured.

Two, I trip over the blue-haired boy's outstretched racquet as he topples over.

Three, said blue-haired boy falls and somehow manages to push me against Kirihara's chest.

Four, Kirihara loses his balance, resulting in us collapsing in a heap on the ground.

Five…well what do you think happens in a love story when the boy and girl end up on top of each other?

_But in your life you'll do things greater than_

_Dating the boy on the tennis team_

_But I didn't know it at fifteen_

Kirihara's lips are pressed against mine firmly, warm and soft. The strong scent of rubber and sunbaked asphalt fills my senses, sending me into a dreamy daze. All I can think about is how he really _does _have nice eyes. I'm drowning in them, cheesy as it sounds, until-

"What the _hell _do you think you're doing to my granddaughter?"

In a flash, Kirihara is pulled off me. Blinking at the sudden loss off contact, I see that obaa-chan is spitting fire (metaphorically of course) at the ever-serene captain of Rikkai Dai High School's tennis team, Yukimura Seiichi. Kirihara is slung like a sack of flour across the buchou's shoulder, apparently in some state of shock. Behind him, his teammates have either the same stupefied expression or are (in the blue-haired boy's case) collapsed on the ground laughing hysterically.

"Um, Sakuno?" Tomo-chan's light touch on my arm brings me back to reality. "You okay?"

_When all you wanted was to be wanted_

"I, I…" My voice trails off as Yukimura-buchou walks up to us.

"My apologies, Ryuzaki-san," he says bowing. "I am very sorry for my teammates'…behavior. I hope you weren't hurt?"

The sight of the so-called "Child of God" bowing before me sets off some internal panic attack.

"N-no big deal!" I squeak. "I don't uh, really mind. P-please tell Kirihara-san that it's fine."

Yukimura-buchou straightens up to look me curiously. "I…will," he says at last, that knowing smile creeping across his lips again. "Well then, I'll get back to the meeting. Gomenasai again, Ryuzaki-san." With that, he walks away.

"Sakuno," Tomo-chan says quietly after the Child of God is out of earshot. "Um, when you said you didn't mind, did you mean that…" Seeing something on my expression, her eyes widen. "Sakuno," she says again, "You don't _like _Kirihara Akaya, do you?"

_Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now_

*****Line Break*****

It's a nice afternoon; one of those "peaceful" moments where time seems to slow down and everything basks in the soft rosy glow of a _pause._

"Let's see, what are my interests…" I bite the tip of my pen thoughtfully as I fill out the Career Planning sheet my guidance counselor passed to me this morning. The sound of ink scratch scratching across fresh white paper is soothing somehow, and soon I'm humming as I list things down. It's only my freshman year anyways, so this kind of thing is actually fun.

_Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday_

_But I realized some bigger dreams of mine_

_I guess cooking and singing, _I think, jotting down my thoughts as they come. _And maybe teaching little kids, that's kind of fun. _I lean back against my chair and stare at the paper thoughtfully. _I feel like there's something else though…_

_And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy_

_Who changed his mind and we both cried_

Suddenly, the classroom door slams open and Tomo-chan staggers in, eyes shining unnaturally bright. Her face is a splotchy red, her breathing uneven and ragged.

"Tomo-chan!" I exclaim, rushing over. "What's wrong? What happened?"

She takes one look at me and bursts into tears, sinking to the ground and leaning against the doorframe for support. Through her choked sobs, I hear faint snippets of what must have happened.

"Ryoma-sama…with me…broke up…said he ha-ha-_hated me!_" Tomo-chan wailed before a fresh wave of tears spills over. I stare in horror as she curls up into a small ball on the floor, sobs racking her body, that cheerful and bubbly personality completely crushed.

_'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you_

_You're gonna believe them_

_And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall_

"He _what_?" I finally manage to sputter. "But, but you guys were so…I don't understand!"

Tomo-chan shakes her head miserably but doesn't look up. "No, we were never like that Sakuno. What you thought…wasn't real. For him, at least."

I try to reassure her, try to bring back that confident, loud-mouthed, unafraid-of-anything-so-look-out-world Tomoka Osakada that I've always known. Somehow, the thought of her losing that fearlessness is more frightening than anything else I've ever known.

_I've found time can heal most anything_

_And you just might find who you're supposed to be_

_I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen_

I am so angry. At Echizen-kun, for making my best friend lose herself. I want to grab him by the collar and make him hurt like she's hurting right now. It's strange, because usually I'd never wish harm on anyone. But the cruel kind of person that can make Tomo-chan like this…I don't understand how anyone could ever love him.

"Shh, shh," I try to whisper as comfortingly as I can. I gently gather up Tomo-chan in my arms and stroke her hair like she used to do for me during thunderstorms when we were little. "It's all right. I'm here for you. Tomorrow always comes, ne?" Tomo-chan's sniffles quell a bit at the familiar words.

"Even if it's cloudy, the sun's still there," I continue, "So just wait a bit longer, because the rain won't last forever. And then we can dance under the big rainbow in the sky and everything will be happy again."

After that, we lapse into a long silence. It takes a while, but at last the tremors running down Tomo-chan's spine stop. She looks up and gives me a watery smile.

"Thanks, Saku-chan. I…needed that. And don't worry, I'll be over Ryoma-sama by tomorrow." That old, lively glint is creeping back into her eyes again, even though it's a bit forced, but it's still there. She grasps my hands in hers. "And I'll support your relationship with that seaweed-haired devil from Rikkai Dai, even! We can figure out a plan tomorrow!"

I laugh and blush in embarrassment a little, relieved that the Tomo-chan I know and love is back. "Ano, I don't know if he even likes-"

Tomo-chan waves her hand. "Oh, just trust me on this one." Her face suddenly grows serious. "Ne, Sakuno, then let's move forwards together from now on, okay?"

I smile back.

And I know then, that it's not just love that can last a lifetime.

_Your very first day_

_Take a deep breath girl_

_Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors_

**Closing Remarks for the Chapter: Woohoo! Finished another one! I was actually debating whether or not Kirihara or Kintarou should be Ryoma's love rival, but settled on Kirihara because I just **_**can't**_** picture Sakuno ever being in LOVE with Kintarou. Really, check the forehead wrinkles if you don't believe me. I stayed up all night trying to make it happen in my mind.**

**There's going to be a 1-week hiatus, sorry sorry sorry to whoever enjoys this fic! I've got this summer program at Rutgers University that I leave for on Sunday ( which for some reason includes visiting a morgue 0_0) Anyways, I'm really tired right now, so I'll make this short and sweet: **

**R&R.**


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